“Intimacy transcends the physical. It is a feeling of closeness that isn’t about proximity, but of belonging. It is a beautiful emotional space in which two become one.”
~ Steve Maraboli
Often we think of chemistry purely as physical attraction – but to do so may be cheating yourself out of wide array of amazing relationships based on something deeper.
Sexual attraction will naturally grow when we increase emotional intimacy.
Here are four ways to fan the flames of a relationship into a full-on inferno.
1. Take notice of what’s right
We can often develop tunnel-vision centered around our idea of what the perfect relationship should look like – and then miss unexpected, yet welcome, attributes in our partner.
When something pleases you, openly express that you recognize and appreciate their compliments, respectful nature, old-fashioned chivalry, etc. This reinforces positive relationship dynamics, teaches your partner how to better love you, and promotes a deeper connection.
2. Get the adrenaline flowing
Make a point of engaging in activities that get your heart-rate up – by doing things that are exciting, adventurous or even scary. Getting physical gets those feel-good endorphins pumping through your system – and mirror neurons help you and your partner to bond through shared experience.
3. Make your partner feel “seen”
There’s nothing more attractive than being with someone who truly gets us. One way we can do this is by consciously asking questions and then mirroring back that we understand our partners feelings and perspectives.
Contrary to popular opinion, love isn’t the most important element in a relationship, it’s “emotional safety.”
If we can create an environment of understanding and acceptance, guards will come down and the relationship will deepen.
4. Try a little tenderness
True intimacy requires vulnerability. Sharing some of your own personal thoughts, fears or insecurities with someone implies trust and increases the relationship bond. Of course, you’ll want to be mindful that you don’t over-share.
Start slow to test the waters until you feel more comfortable.
Most people will feel honored to be entrusted with this type of information and match you by sharing something of their own.
Whether it’s a new relationship or one that’s tried-and-true, making a conscious effort to increase chemistry keeps life exciting. Why wait for a spark when you can create one!
Marci Wise, MA, LMHC – www.wisecounselinginc.com
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