“No relationship can survive without trust, honesty, and communication, no matter how close you are.”
~ J Sterling
What do you want?
If the new guy was not in the picture, would you want to stay in the relationship with your boyfriend, or would you rather let go?
If you want the relationship then work on it, if you don’t, then let it (him) go.
Cheating on your boyfriend will violate any trust in the relationship, and it will be difficult, if not impossible, to get it back once it is broken.
- Are you willing to take that risk?
- What are your values?
- Do you believe that cheating is wrong? Or do you think it is okay… as long as you never get caught?
If you believe that cheating is wrong, you will not only hurt your boyfriend and violate his trust, you will violate yourself as well.
You need to know that violating yourself and your own set of values likely will have a long term effect of how you see and feel about yourself, and what you feel like you deserve, in the future.
If you think it is only wrong if you get caught, know that you will. It is not a matter of if you will get caught, but when.
As for the new guy, perhaps he is coming into your life to show you what is missing in your relationship, or despite its flaws (all relationships have them and must work through them), the value in it….. and not to throw it away on an attraction.
- Do you like the “other guy” or just the attention that he is giving you?
- Does he like you enough to have a relationship or is he just trying to “win” you over from your boyfriend, hook up and then be unavailable for intimacy or a relationship?
Just because you find a guy attractive and he “likes” you does not mean that you need to have sex with him or enter into a relationship.
Always trust your gut and remember that no one has the right to tell you what to you. It is your life, your path, your choice…but so are the related consequences.
Laura Streyffeler, PhD, LMHC, BCETS, CCDVC, CCFC – www.drlauracounseling.com
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